The Cook Book

The recipes contained within are based around a two thousand caloric intake limit per day. Orcs can naturally accommodate more than two thousand, and for the self conscious orc on the go, simply double the portion size and you have the correct number of calories.

Elf Roast:

This juicy gem is a center cut of elf thigh, which gives it both a pleasing texture as well as size making it perfect for slow roasting.

If possible, soak the thigh meat in...
2 cloves garlic
3 tbs salt
2 tbs cracked pepper.
6-7 basil leaves
Hot sauce to taste.

To Cook, simply skewer the roast on a roasting spit, (if no roasting spit, a polearm or spear will do nicely) and turn over a low flame for approximately one hour till the temperature reaches 145 degrees. If no temperature gauge is available, then slow roast for an hour and then cut into the center. Repeat process till you reach the desired temperature.


High Meat Pie:

This is a lovely dish because it works so well with leftovers. Simply take a pound of the leftovers from your last elvish meal and mix with...

1 Cup brown sugar
2 Sticks of butter
2 Cups of mixed berries
1 tsp mint

Mix vigorously and add to a pie pan. Cover with pie crust and bake for 45 minutes till top is flaky golden brown.

Serve with vanilla ice cream.


Sweet and Sour Swordmaster:

This sassy dish is made with the dark meat from the elf. If you don't know, thats meat from the arm and shoulder of your elf. Since your swordmaster will likely have been using his arms to swing that heavy sword around, your elf's arms should be darker than the average elf, and this contributes towards the rich woodsy flavor.

Simply dice a pound of your elf's dark meat and add to a skillet with the following...

1 small onion
1 clove of garlic
2 carrots
1/4 lb of spinach
2 tbs of lemon juice
2 tbs of honey
3 stalks of bamboo
2 hot peppers of your choosing.

First, dice your onion, garlic and onion, and add to an already hot skillet. Stir till the onions begin to caramelize, then add the rest of the ingredients. Toss till meat reaches medium rare, then serve over rice or noodles.


Dark Heart Stew

A favorite with the young chaoslings, Dark Pot Stew, despite rumors, is not made with dark elf. Instead it comes from the the diced dark hearts of elven maidens. Because of the weakness of the elven heart, the muscle is tender and juicy. Simply take three elf hearts and two livers, Dice and fry quickly. then add to a pot with...

1 large diced onion
4 large diced potatoes
3 diced carrots
Salt and Pepper to taste
3 cups of strained elf blood
1 cup of peas

Cook over slow heat for two or three hours till potatoes and carrots are soft. This Hearty (lol) dish is perfect for a long siege. It keeps well, and can be left unattended for hours.


Elf Ear Chips:

This carnival treat is a favorite of orcs everywhere.

Simply fry elf ears in hot oil for about forty five seconds, toss in lime juice and salt, then serve. These tasty treats are perfect dipped in cheese sauce or served with chilly


Pickled Elf Sausage:

*a blood stain sadly covers most of this tawdry recipe making it illegible*


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Beer Battered Sorc

The star dish in pubs everywhere, beer battered sorcerer was made popular by a little known dark elf warrior who was trapped behind enemy lines for a week with only a flask of ale, a flask of oil, and an elf prisoner.

When he returned from war, he opened a flesh house and began serving this lovely dish with chips and a pickle.

Mix equal ale (i prefer a dark think ale) and flower. Some recipes call for half a cup of blood wine for color, but it isn't necessary.
Dip tender slivers of elf in the batter and drop in oil till they float. The meat should still be a little rare inside.

You may dip in any tomato based sauce or simply sprinkle with salt and eat. Perfect for a quick snack.


Dragon and Phoenix King:

This dish is a favorite of Malekith and features long thin strips of tender elf with thick chunks of tougher dwarf loin tossed in a spicy garlic sauce and served over Naggarand noodles.

1 stalk of celery(cut into strips, not diced)
1 small onion(also strips)
1 cup of garlic sauce(sold in any marketplace)
3 cloves of garlic
2 tsp of spicy mustard
4 chopped basil leaves

Toss ingredients together and then add cooked noodles. Toss till noodles are covered then serve. Friends and family will think twice before assassinating you after you pull this gem out.



Check back for more recipes and elven cooking tips as release draws closer.[b]